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Total Guide to Weddings: Choosing Your Attendants Wisely

Our resident Wedding Specialist, Natalie Lovett is here to help you solve the common problem of selecting your all important wedding team! Choosing the right attendants is essential for the success of your wedding, and must be considered carefully.

All too often I see attendants on the day doing nothing but enjoying themselves, seriously thinking that they're there purely to look good, get a free dress / suit, lovely shoes and a make over to boot - not bad eh! But the truth is actually very different...each attendant has a specific role to play; they create a support network and sounding board, with the end result (hopefully) being a stress-free run up to, and day of, your wedding!

So, who are they and what are their roles?

You will find many resources offering detailed and traditional roles for each attendant, which although are all correct in theory, in practice it’s sometimes different. I like to keep things simple and realistic - here are my thoughts:

Chief Bridesmaid (otherwise know as Maid (unmarried) / Matron (married) of Honour)

Hers is the key role both running up to, and on the day itself. She is most likely one of your nearest and dearest and is essential in taking you through the planning process from an emotional perspective.

Not only should she organise you a fab hen ‘do’, keep you going and help out where necessary beforehand, she will also be your right hand woman on the day – ensure other bridesmaids are in the right place at the right time, mop up your happy tears, take you to the loo (not a one lady job in a wedding dress trust me!) and generally ensure a drink is in your hand and act as the female host when you're elsewhere.

She will NOT try and take the attention away from you - oh yes, this happens a lot!

Best Man (Men)

As the chief bridesmaid is key to the bride, the best man is key to the groom! Again, he is most likely your nearest and dearest and will generally be at your side throughout the planning stage.

He will organise the stag ‘do’ and (if you've chosen wisely), will ensure you return without alcohol poisoning and with eyebrows! He will also settle nerves and take over jobs like pick up suits and so on, and generally take you out for beers when necessary!

He may act as MC for the day, announce the speeches - be kind during his speech (!), and act as 3rd male host for the day (1st and 2nd being groom and father of the bride). He will also be the contact for the venue / suppliers should there be any queries on the day.


They will work with the chief bridesmaid to ensure the bride is attended to at all times. They will help out where necessary – give out gifts, ensure cards are placed in the post box and that the guest book does the rounds, and generally be social butterflies!

They will also look after any little ones (flower girls / page boys), and ensure they are where they should be, at the right times etc.


They are incredibly important, especially if you’re having a church wedding. Their role is to meet, greet and guide your guests to their seats.

They should have a schedule of the day and answer any logistical questions that your guests may have.

They may also be tasked with taking flowers from the ceremony to the venue, and should assist the photographer in gathering the guests to make the photograph stage as swift as possible.

Flower Girls and Page Boys

Let’s be honest here, depending on their ages their only role is to look cute and get the ahhhh's going!

Have I missed anyone?!…oh yes, a Wedding Planner!

It’s my job to take care of all of the above for you, from background work, to planning to scheduling, to running the day – it’s a role that can be as big or small as you like.

We’re not just for the rich and famous, we’re essential to your well-being during the run up to, and on the day of, your wedding!

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